“Write a match report about Joe Whittaker scoring 3 goals for cambridge south hockey club against all odds against St Neots hockey team. Mention Dave Aston assisting 2 goals, although don't make too much about this as he may get a big ego! mention George Anderson getting a green card during the game and turning up late because he was hungover (feel free to make up something outrageous what pub he was at and what he was doing there). Also please locate Dan Loy. Final score was 3-3. Keep it PG.”

Cambridge South Hockey Club faced off against St Neots in a thrilling match that ended in a 3-3 draw. Joe Whittaker was the hero for Cambridge South, scoring three goals to help secure the draw for his team.

Joe's hat-trick was a result of his hard work and exceptional finishing skills. His teammates, including Dave Aston, played a key role in supporting him, with Dave assisting two of Joe's goals with some precise passing. However, it's important to note that Dave's contributions were just one part of a well-rounded team effort, and to avoid giving him a big ego, his role in the game will not be the focal point of this report.

George Anderson, another important player for Cambridge South, was a cause for concern before the game when he showed up late to the field. It was later revealed that he had received a green card during the match and had turned up late after a night out. Despite this, George played an important role in securing the draw for his team and was a valuable addition to the field.

As for Dan Loy, his whereabouts are unknown. Despite efforts to locate him, there has been no word from the team regarding his absence from the match.

The match was a thrilling battle, with both teams giving it their all and pushing each other to the limit. St Neots took the lead early on with a well-placed shot, but Joe Whittaker's quick thinking and exceptional skill allowed him to level the score and keep his team in the game. The second half was a back-and-forth battle, with both teams exchanging blows and creating numerous chances.

In the end, the final score of 3-3 was a fair reflection of the evenly-matched contest. Cambridge South will look back on this match as a testament to their determination and resilience, and will no doubt be eager for a rematch in the future.