Men's 3rds thrash Cambridge Nomads 3

South 3rds maintained their 100% start to the season as they cruised to victory in this derby match. The 3rds now possess the South club record for consecutive league wins, the sequence currently numbering 12.

It was clear from the opening phases that we had a very good chance of success in this game, as we penned Nomads back for extended periods. The early pressure was soon converted into a lead, through a familiar source, the Barton reverse stick*. This one wasn’t quite archetypal, as it didn’t involve the old sweep-and-topple. Rob remained stubbornly upright throughout, drawing the ‘keeper towards him and then reverse flicking it past him to roll home.

A two goal lead was established within the opening fifteen minutes, and in this case it was the timeless classic. James, making his South debut and looking a very handy player, feed the ball into Rob near the top of the circle. Rob had a defender at his back, so shifted left to find some space, swept on the reverse and then barrel-rolled as the ball *thunked* into the far corner backboard. Despite intense pressure for the rest of the half, the goals then dried up. This was due in part to some excellent play from the Nomads ‘keeper, in particular two saves to deny Matt, but was also attributable to wastefulness, as we took the wrong options when we in promising positions.

It was a good way into the second half before we scored the third goal that put the result to bed. The creative moment was Matt’s intelligent pass against the grain, feeding the ball in to the left wing when the flow of the move had previously been Lib Demish, i.e. veering rightwards. Paul, who had just entered the play in place of Ali for a rare chance up front, was in acres of space. With the Nomads defence unable to turn in time to deal with the unexpected angle of attack, Paul was able to advance on the ‘keeper and flick the ball into the far corner.

Nomads were a sporadic threat on the counter-attack (although without ever managing an actual shot), but with a three goal cushion we could relax as one goal back wasn’t going to seriously alter the complexion of the game. Maybe this is what allowed left-back Jan far enough upfield to play a defence splitting through-ball to Paul. The ‘keeper saved Paul’s initial shot, but Jacob was on hand to bundle the rebound over the line from close range, via the feet of a defender and the Nomads goalie.

It looked like we were going five up when Rob collected the ball in the circle and set himself up for the reverse sweep, but then almost unaccountably dragged his shot wide. Where was the Swiss watch precision normally provided by this move? Was this hattrick jug avoidance on an epic scale? Such speculations were quickly dismissed as Rob got a near carbon copy chance after a pass in from Jelley on the left flank, and this time placed it smoothly into the far corner.

Our final goal came in the aftermath of a Yaya Toure-esque upfield burst by sweeper Johnny B (or Beckenbauer-esque, for the benefit of older readers). Having arrived at halfway, he laid the ball off to Rob and continued running, Rob returning the ball to set Johnny clean through. Unfortunately for his hopes regarding the goal-of-the-season award the ‘keeper kept out the shot. The Nomads defence swept the loose ball clear but not far away, as Jacob retrieved it near the right touchline, from where he crossed. This was arguably not the most sympathetic cross ever hit, as it came in hard and at chest height. No bother for Matt, who calmly dropped the ball to his feet, and then flicked home off the inside of the near post.

* - regarding Barton, your intrepid reporter fielded an enquiry following the Deeping 3rds report which owed a little to the Alex Ferguson school of press relations, complaining as it did of inaccurate journalism by having the temerity to suggest goals on the reverse are somehow stereotypical of our White Feather. Apparently he is better on the strong side and scores most of his goals that way. Two league games, four goals, um four reverse stick. The same regard for facts as Homer Simpson...

Thanks to Shahbaz and Vicky for umpiring; especially to Vicky, who was ‘volunteered’ at short notice to cover for the absent home umpire, meaning her day consisted of Umpiring two matches prior to playing in her own game. South’s ULO (the man responsible for the ‘volunteering’) and Nomads 3rds skipper owe her a little, I think.

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Matt Kern
Player of the Match

Another outstanding midfield performance, capped by a very well taken goal. Main area of his game that needs work; goal celebrations. We want something better than looking slightly nonplussed that your shot found its way in.

Simon Ta
Lemon of the Match

Abandoned South 3rds to join Nomads and promptly lost 6-0. His reason for making the switch was that he only wanted to play as centre-forward, and as we’ve Rob this season that wasn’t likely. Where exactly did he feature for Nomads, dear reader? Yep, midfield…