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'We're Going on a City Hunt' by Michael Rosen

Before our journey may begin, dear listener, you must first be aware of its source, its origin, its genesis…


As defined my Wikipedia itself:

We're Going on a Bear Hunt is a 1989 children's picture book written by Michael Rosen and illustrated by Helen Oxenbury. It has won numerous awards and was the subject of a Guinness World Record for "Largest Reading Lesson" with a book-reading attended by 1,500 children, and an additional 30,000 listeners online, in 2014.

For those unaware of such a tale, the parenthesised link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gyI6ykDwds) will showcase the narrative for you, although it is strongly advised that you question, not only your upbringing, but your childhood as a whole if you find yourself in a position where this is required.


Now that you are acquainted with the chronicle, dear listener, we may begin our own adventure:


‘We’re Going on a City Hunt- with author’s commentary’ by Michael Rosen.


We’re going on a City hunt*.

We’re going to make it a big one.

What a beautiful day**!

We’re not scared***.

*No foxes were harmed during the event- this was kept merely to keep the narrative as close to the original as possible.

**It genuinely was a beautiful day as showcased by Harry Lewis’ pre match attire of flip flops and shorts and Simon Cooper’s of newly bought sunglasses (post girlfriend’s attempt to overhaul his wardrobe calamity) and tartan shorts (pre girlfriend’s attempt to overhaul his wardrobe calamity).  It was complete contrast to the original match date on which it snowed.

***I wouldn’t say that they ‘weren’t’ scared: they hadn’t played in several weeks and several of the ‘leadership team’ had pained looks on their faces amid claims that they had been sandpapering their balls in order to gain an advantage (and in the case of Chris Walsh, this led to him being unavailable for the fixture).


Uh-uh!

Changing rooms!

Closed, locked changing rooms.

We can’t go in them.

We can’t go next to them.

Oh no!

We’ve got to just hold it*.

Tense or through the fence! Tense or through the fence! Tense or through the fence!

*Figuratively.


We’re going on a City hunt.

We’re going to make it a big one.

What a beautiful day!

We’re not scared.

It should be noted that the match had started at this point.

It should also be noted that the first twenty-or-so minutes have not been acknowledged in this recount. This is down to two key reasons:

1.  I have already realised that this early point that I have bitten off more than I can chew with this style of match report and am only really willing to go into detail on fairly niche aspects of the game- this will become more apparent as the narrative unfurls.

2.  City had the better start and this report is for the South website, not theirs.


Uh-uh!

A short corner!

An attacking but Menziesless* short corner.

We can’t sub him on for it**.

We can’t just hit it***.

*Young James Menzies was the usual target off short corners but he was in the middle of a twenty minute breather after ‘running a bit’ in the first five.

**It’s against the rules and as mentioned above, he was tired- the ‘sunburn’ that he acquired during the match did oddly disappear an hour or so after the final whistle.

***This had not proved a fruitful option throughout the season.


Oh no!

We’ve got to do it*.

Slappy deflecty! Slappy deflecty! Slappy deflecty**!

*Inject: Cooper. Stop: Anns. Slap: Mann. Deflect: ______.

**Oli Lamming deflected the ball neatly over the line and into the backboard: 0-1.

It should be noted at this point that half-time happened and it was hot.


We’re going on a City hunt.

We’re going to make it a big one.

What a beautiful day!

We’re not scared.

Uh-uh!

A tantrum*!

A ‘you’ve got a bin for a heart’**, ‘why is no-one else as wound up as us?’ tantrum.

We can’t stop it.

We aren’t childish enough to join it***.

*Dominic Reeve and similarly hot-headed individual from the City side had a little strop with each other.

**A light chuckle at recent sporting news from the wider world of sport for you- I feel as an author that it is important to stay on top of current affairs and find innovative ways to weave them in alongside more traditional structures.

***There were a couple of younger players amongst the teams and one of did actually apologise for his adult team mate’s behaviour at this point.


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