South breeze through with a win, despite going down to 9 men

Joe Whittaker

With City beating Ely 4s 15-0, Ely 3s 5-0 and St Neots 10-0 etc., South 4s went to the match expecting a tough game. This being said, South 4s led throughout the whole game comfortably, even dropping down to nine men at the end to give City 5s a sporting chance.

Goals rundown:

  • 1-0 to South after a breakaway group (including Ian G, who is supposed to be a defender…hmm!) managed to smash it into the D and get one or two deflections into the goal.

  • Half time

  • 2-0 to South after Dave M smashes the ball into the D from a twenty-five yard free hit with a touch just inside by Joe sending it into the bottom right corner. City not happy.

  • 2-1 still to South after City finally get on the scoring board after a short corner goes in.

  • 3-1 to South after another breakaway and John G nails it home.

  • 3-2 (last and final score!) Unsure if this was before or after Joe and Rupert decided to call it a day and place their bums permanently on the spectators' bench.

Fun facts:

  • City weren't happy.

  • City have only let in 5 goals this season, 3 of which came from us!

Other things that happened:

  • Ian G hurt his hand and his leg.

  • Dave M enjoyed giving Ian G a leg massage on the pitch; the umpire didn't.

  • Joe's pre-match talks are akin to Jeremy Clarkson's speeches apparently.

  • Dave M has introduced a new type of tackle: the 'leap on the floor tackle'.

  • Shahzad saved 15 shorts and 1 penalty flick…without even touching the ball (not even joking!)

  • Charlie turned up sober.

  • Ian M was as solid as ever.

  • Tom R 'puts his hands up in the air like he just doesn't care' - verbal warning.

  • Ian G's bum got in the way of a kid - verbal warning.

  • Ky lost his cool and subbed himself off before the umpire put him off - green card.

  • Joe's stick tackle made a good sound - yellow card.

  • Rupert thinks when a ref says '5m' he really means '5 yards' - yellow card.

  • South are just too darn good - whole team warning.

  • Taking twelve men to the pitch, we only ended up with nine remaining on it.

  • Apparently we have a ghost who plays for South…oooo spooky!

  • There wasn't a Perse School open day.

Friendly v Saffron Walden 6s next week. Should be a nice chilled occasion against our friendly rivals where we have each taken two matches from one another. 2-2. The fifth and the decider awaits.

South on three.

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30
Dave Monck
Player of the Match

For his dedication in defence.

Ian Marshman
Player of the Match

For his superb stick skills and cool head under pressure.

84
Charlie Crowther
Player of the Match

For keeping the pace up all game (and for actually turning up!)

Premiership wannabees
Lemon of the Match

Unanimous vote here for the guys who couldn't keep a cool head. This is Div 6, not Prem A.