I saw a peanut stand
Heard a rubber band
I saw a needle
That winked it's eye
But I think I will have
Seen everything
When I see
Ali Edge score a goal

I saw a front porch swing
Heard a diamond ring
I saw a polka-dot railroad tie
But I think
I will have seen everything
When I see Ali Edge score a goal

I seen a clothes horse
He r'ar up and buck
And they tell me that a man
Made a vegetable truck
I didn't see that
I only heard
But just to be sociable
I'll take your word

I heard a fireside chat
I saw a baseball bat
And I just laughed
Till I thought I'd die
But I'd be done see'n
About everything
When I see Ali Edge score a goal

(Alternative match report - an open goal went begging in an even first half, but at 0-0 the game was very much in the balance. Sadly, we let them have a goal straight from the restart (again!), shipped another to a biffed short corner, then a far-post tennis smash and a big boom from an acute angle saw the hosts take an unassailable lead. Some subs might have been handy, but our XI battled on, with Ali popping up in the opposition's D to deftly steer home one back for us. Had we burnt off the 1000 calories we were to later ingest in Burger King on the way home? I'm not sure…)