Official Report

Mike Karran

CSHC-BC University of East Anglia Men’s 1st XI vs. Cambridge South Men’s 1st XI

Saturday 18th March

By Sports Correspondent Michael Karran

Live Reporting:

11.30

While many across the country, and indeed the world, focused on the Six Nations final games, Premier League clashes and other boring and doubtless tedious competitions, the true sporting connoisseur had eyes for one momentous meeting; the penultimate game of the season for Cambridge South Men’s 1st XI hockey team.

This was to be the pivotal weekend for a star-studded group of athletes battling for their rightful place in the division. After a long season filled with majestic highs – who can forget the 5-goal dominance displayed against Dereham? – and cavernous lows – we’ll all try to forget the Sudbury game, especially Colin – it was crunch time in Norwich. A win would secure their position, a loss could give the other teams a crucial psychological advantage to clinch an unlikely and potentially damaging additional few points.

Elsewhere in Norwich, a derby game between top of the table Norwich Dragons and Norwich City 3s, who were fighting to stay out of the relegation zone, was the other key game. A win for City would leave it all to play for on the last game of the season. You could have cut the tension in Norwich with a knife. That might be normal; it is Norwich.

12.00 Long Road: The centre of the hockey universe

The Ladies 1s looking to clinch the top spot was the back-drop to the pre-match preparation of the M1s. Focussed, highly-strung and pumped, the team (some of it) sets off from Fortress Long Road, scene of so many thrilling encounters, for the epic journey to Norwich.

12.30

On the road, care-free banter conceals barely supressed anticipation.

1.00

Still on the road. Anticipation still there.

1.30

Still on the fecking road.

1.40

Arrival at Norwich, at last. After some minor driving mishaps fully attributed to Captain Jim’s inability to direct returning Matt ‘Kenzo’ Kenzie around a car park, the team meets to don their traditional canary yellow away strip.

Top-quality preparation is evident from every player. Well, almost every player as Chris ‘Have you got the balls?’ Pearson manages to forget the majority of his kit, including his underwear. He remembers the team’s balls but not his own…shoes.

A solid squad – the best fourteen in the club according to ‘Hockey’ Hockley, which he will have to explain to the rest of the squad at team dinners – lined up but a tragic last minute drop-out by Mark Williams left the midfield looking a bit bare. Probably had a wedding or something.

At the back; Tom Rosselli and Colin T started in front of keeper George Toynton with Stuart Rimmer and David Aston as the wing backs. A new introduction in the form of Aston, something of an unknown, will need at least an average performance to retain his place. In the middle, Paresh ‘Solid’ Parsot and midfielders Harry Chalk, Mike Karran and Jim, with forwards Pearson, Shin Kim, Kenzo, Graham McCulloch and Ollie Lamming, the in-form striker looking to continue his hot streak of seven in five.

2.00

The warm-up brought light rain but the surface was fast and the team looked sharp.

2.30

Jim wins the toss (makes a change) and the game begins.

2.35

Some fluid play by both sides; the UEA team is well-drilled with effective movement and pacy passing asking a lot of the defence and midfield. This is what they train for though and some good communication allows South to cope.

2.39

Again defence is stretched but some quality defending keeps the score at nil-nil. #solid Paresh is being, well, solid. Aston at left back is providing an option on the wing and driving forward with the freedom of a young Dave Aston.

2.44 “Pass to South sticks!” J. Hockley

A nice move is built from some quick play out of defence. It goes through the midfield – Chalky and Karran in the midfield are beginning to link up and make some nice interchanges through the middle. It goes to the forwards and a chance is made but thwarted by some defensive efforts perhaps worthy of a ‘#solid’ shout.

2.48

Utilising the wings well, a great chance through Pearson and McCulloch is created though the final strike escapes the reach of South. South are causing problems for the opposition defence. Lamming out wide is always open for the dash down the wing; those Monday night sprints are paying off.

2.50

GOAL! Our road warriors concede to a nice move, the high press and driving midfield leaving a player with the space to put in a goal. The South faithful on the side-line keep the support coming and despite the setback, chins, heads and hopes remain high. South may be down but they are far from out.

2.55 Half time “Let’s be positive South. No-one f**k up” T. Rosselli

One-nil down at the half, it’s a good performance from South so far and while the pressure has been intense the defensive line has coped well, showing that one of the best back lines in the league is no fluke. The UEA team undoubtedly have quality players but we all know that players don’t make a team or points.

The team talk stresses the basics and the importance of staying with your man. This is high on Colin’s agenda unlike his aerials which are way down. Basically passes really.

3.00

The game re-starts and South seems to have the measure of UEA now. While the rapid passing and good movement was creating holes in the first half, it now is countered by good defensive movement in response. The midfield and forwards are linking up to take pressure off and provide more threat in the D.

3.08 “Play the simple ball” Everyone

Aston puts in an aerial which leads to a great chance; what are the odds? After a couple of nice passes by the forwards, Shin is open on the top of the D and decides to pass to Chris. The goal beckons and with an athletic reverse stick sweep he promptly misses the ball.

3.12

HITS THE POST! UEA get a short. The defence was under pressure and some skilful work down the left wing is rewarded with a short. The ball comes out and the post saves South.

3.17“All day long!” Colin T.

A bit of rapid forward play has resulted in a short. That is exactly the sort of hockey that has characterised South the whole season.

3.18

GOAL! South equalise after a delightful bit of improvisation from almost-Goal-King, Chris; he shifts it right, gets the ball back and finishes with confidence. South are tasting points.

3.23 “No points for a draw” J. Hockley

The pressure is rising: UEA get another short and a good save is pulled from keeper George. Having a bit of a blinder actually, one of a few quality chances stopped.

3.28 “CALM DOWN COLIN, FOR F**KS SAKE!” G. McCulloch

South are being pushed all the way. There is a small amount of chat amongst the South players though Colin at the back is as cool as a cucumber. Responds to Graham’s bellow with “I am calm” and then immediately puts the defence under pressure by giving a five yard pass to Tom who is quickly surrounded by several UEA players.

3.30 “All day long!” Colin T.

UEA get a short. Tension builds but the ball hits the other post and goes wide. South breathe a sigh of relief.

3.31 “All day long!” Colin T.

UEA get a short. The ball hits the crossbar after a great save from George. South breathe a sigh of relief.

3.32 “ALL DAY LONG!!” COLIN T.

UEA get another short. They miss. Colin might explode if he says ‘All day long’ again.

3.35 “It’s a point for a draw” S. Rimmer

The game ends with a more than respectable draw against a good side.

3.49 “It’s spelt ‘Gravelling’” C. Graveling

Thanks to some prudent tweeting, the absent Chris G finds out Norwich City lost and the draw made no difference; the M1’s are in Div 2N for another season.

George gets a deserved MOM for some great saves and Chris gets LOM for not having enough clothes.

What a game. What a season. What a sport.

#norelegation

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George Toynton
Player of the Match

Pulling off a spectacular array of saves, George kept South in the game against a barrage of UEA penalty corners.

Chris Pearson
Lemon of the Match

Forgot his shoes, underwear and towel, and took some tips from Pawson in the final minutes.