Pizza Should Take Priority Over Personal Hygiene - Apparently…

Laurie McKenzie-Rosselli

After all-round high expectations of upholding our recent run of form, the team were briefed to expect a slightly tougher game today against the pre-season favourites to win our division. Huntingdon undoubtedly came prepared, with a strong, solid defence regularly breaking down our fast-flowing attacking play. Jan's preview ringing in our ears, the team's objectives were to keep a clean sheet and try to replicate as much of our goalscoring glory as was possible.

At the point we started to warm up (more accurately, the opposition - some time before us), there was some very bright, low level glaring sunshine dazzling the players. I suspect this led to us being gifted first pushback despite losing the toss. Yet to truly be able to claim we can replicate the L2s' Eimear-early-scoring-factor, we started building up our passing play, dominating early possession, but were met with some strong, successful tackles from Huntingdon's defensive line. Much to the relief of the captain, a ball eventually found its way through to Tuffers inside the D for the goal pie magic to begin. Short range firepower fully operational! #phew! (We tend to chill out and start playing our own game once we've got one in!) Very shortly after, following one of Huntingdon's fast breaks which ran straight into South's eagerly awaiting back line, a free hit taken quickly by Laurie headed up the pitch via Lauren and Rebecca to go out wide to Dani, to drive into the D to pass from the base line across for Kath to finish off into the back of the net. Beautiful hockey, ladies!

Another sequence of fast play resulted in Tuffers getting an open play shot at goal, deftly saved by the keeper into the air, for Dani, right up in her kickers/pads, to attempt to aerial the ball into the goal, but thwarted AGAIN! But third time's the charm, as the second aerial ball Dani directs firmly into the backboards! Fantastic hand-eye co-ordination! On a roll not long after, she pops in a classic crossed-to-the-post goal.

Tireless work from our midfield (evident throughout the game, not just at this moment in time) brought about our fifth, as Jess (of the Langford variety this week) fed Tuffers a lovely ball, to sink firmly into the goal. Resilient play by Huntingdon kept the score to this up until the half time whistle. Five-nil! Not a bad halftime score…

After what can only be described as a rather lacklustre half time talk - along the lines of, "That's great, more of the same please" - play resumed. Can't score quickly at the start of the game, but can from the start of the second half, it would seem; at a mere two minutes into it Tuffers took her third slice of goal pie for the day.

Acclimatising to our playing style, Huntingdon started closing us down quicker, successfully breaking down our fast, flowing hockey by engaging us in tackles before we could release the ball. At this point we resorted to trying to dribble our way through by beating players with skills. Really not our best hockey! Fortunately it seemed to dawn on us that this was not producing the same number of opportunities on goal, so we resorted back to the previous Thursday's training focus of switching it around the back, utilising the able support of the ever eager Hannah, to give us the fast break up to Dani, allowing her to complete her hat-trick.

About halfway through the second half, disaster struck! Throughout the game there had been increasing incidents of Huntingdon's sticks missing the ball only to make contact with South's feet/ankles mid-tackle, thus far largely uninfluential. Unfortunately one such stick managed to find the fatal spot between the bottom of Tuffer's shin pad and the top of her astro, right on the bone! It downed her for a good while before she was able to hobble off the pitch, unfit to return to the game, or make it to the evening's social, and MOST tragically missing paintballing on Sunday as a result! Poor Olivia had barely been subbed off for thirty seconds, having been running around like a madman in midfield, before she was pulled back on to play centre forward to replace Tuffers! She had had an extended stint in the first half too, thanks to Lauren's injury addiction (more on this later). Quite how she managed to continue with such speed and tenacity given these circumstances is beyond me! But it was a sterling effort!

In contrast to our game against Newmarket 4s a couple of weeks back, which was nothing but attacking short after attacking short, this game, short corners had been very thin on the ground. Winning one after the loss of Lucy to strike them caused much confusion. However we chose to go for Dani trapping, for Rebecca to push left, for Kath to sweep into the back of the goal from left slip. This could not have been a more textbook demonstration of one of our short corner routines - a satisfyingly polished final goal of the match!

We continued to pressure the opposition D for the duration of the game. However I think injuries and our lack of subs for the right part of the pitch started to take their toll and we couldn't find the magic to take us into the double figures of our previous three games. Plus credit where credit is due, Huntingdon's defence prosed a real challenge for us, having a much better second half as a team, producing the odd break of their own – safely mopped up by Maria at centre back.

Other highlights included:

  • The welcome return to the pitch of Janette, supposedly playing in our defensive back line. However she was definitely sighted at some point during the first half, after coming up to support a long corner, taking the ball on a scintillating run from the twenty-three to the base line inside the attacking D, only to be denied a shot on goal by a dogged Huntingdon defender.

  • A mere five minutes into the game, Lauren, who was clearly concerned that (despite her weekly contributions) her shares in the club's ice pack supplier were under threat, so amid a fraught scuffle with the opposition, felt obliged to take a lifted ball square to the top of her right temple. Subbing, ice pack and shiner of an egg-shaped welt followed shortly after. Stoic as ever, she returned to the pitch in time to play the majority of the half, demonstrating her ever-reliant relentless running around in our midfield.

  • Diva antics from our youngest player; Olivia, in a moment of intense frustration, threw her stick across the pitch, narrowly missing an opposition player during the second half (the facts of this incident may have altered for dramatic effect)! An action which would have been worthy of winning her Lemon of the Match if it wasn't for the teas conspiracy…

  • Apparently Dani also managed to execute an excellent swan dive!

  • During the first half Huntingdon made a great break to take an open play shot on goal – it was a cracking arching ball intended for the top right-hand corner near the cross bar. In any other game it probably would have been a goal but with Lou, giving up her usual outfield forward position to don the keeper's pads for this weekend (with the injured Louise Roberson on the side lines in support), jumping to causally swat the ball down with her hand pad, Huntingdon were denied. This was to be her only touch of the ball, but a spectacular save nonetheless!

The game finished eight-nil. Objectives achieved; three points, a clean sheet; and enough goals to make us the highest scoring team out of all the Men's and Ladies' teams playing in any of the East Hockey League divisions so far this season (sixty goals – but who's counting, eh?) Post match, all bar one of the team headed straight over to Cantabs, eager to sample the new Perfect Pizzas! I learnt today that showering post-match is not approved of by my team… I should be dashing straight over to salivate over them eating the glutinous, dairy-drenched treachery I can't touch, least I come twenty minutes late to discover every single LoM vote has been amended to my name for choosing to shower rather go straight to teas. Upon closer inspection, people's original pre-coup votes would have crowned Olivia LoM for the aforementioned incident.

MoM however was far from the same repetitive tale; with single votes for Lucy (Tuffers), Dani, Kath, Rebecca, Lauren, Olivia, Hannah, Janette and Lou; but Jess took the title with three votes for her great supportive role in midfield.

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Jess Langford
Player of the Match

Controlling & distributing from the midfield

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Laurie McKenzie-Rosselli
Lemon of the Match

For being the only one who chose to shower!