3 - 4

Man of the match

Matt Kern

No, I can't believe it either

Lemon of the match

Alex Pashley

"Dolphin-safe" certification DENIED

It's a Numbers Game

Matt Saint-Gower

Long Road is defrosting quickly. GAME ON!

This was the message from our skipper at 10am. What a rallying cry to battle. I must admit I was a bit disappointed that no lemon-worthy comments had been made on the group chat asking if the game was still on because it’s a bit cold today. Well done,chaps.

All week we had heard that selections for all teams this week had been hard due to low availability, shown by our skipper when only my name appeared on the laminated team board. How relieved I was when the rest of the patched up squad arrived.

After a bit of warming up, the skipper had won the toss and put the sun on our backs and into the faces of our enemy (only for the clouds to come over in the second half to help us, genius move. Matt Kern is a weatherman).

The game started with a quick pace, at least if you were wearing black and white. The ball was being moved quickly and crossed into Souths D. I was forced into a save, only for the rebound to come off a purple foot. PC!

Okay, we have this covered. The ball is shot to the left post, I have it covered and so does my skipper. After seeing us concede the PC last week to the 2s, Matt K decides he can also score the same way, past my leg. Great touch though.

We restart and the ball is brilliantly worked up to Dom N, who puts the ball into their net. One-all, we have got this. Oh, hold on, here they come again, black and white shirts streaming forward. They cross the ball into the D and a stick nudges the ball inside my far post. Damn it!

'Heads up, boys,' is the shout. Yep, our heads were up looking at the guy with the ball dribbling through four defenders and facing me, one-on-one. I got this; hold on, where did the guy on the back stick come from? Ball across me to said opponent, three-one Bourne Deeping. Halftime.

Lots of talking, analysing and musing and the second half begins. South start quickly and very soon Dom N is on the score sheet again. Three-two. Game on! South now have their tails up and push for a third.

My feet and legs are kept busy as Bourne Deeping push to extend their lead. I think I had to make a flying volley save at one point?

South get the ball into the Bourne Deeping D, it’s up in the air off a black and white stick, Pash chests it down and Jimmy has it in back of the net. Three-three, epic!

All we have to do now with two minutes left is play sensibly. Except if you're Dom N and have the need to bulldoze the opposition and give away a PC. Okay South, concentrate. OUT! The ball is played to the right, clear shot on goal, I have it covered. My foot is stuck, WTF! I try to kick a slow shot and my foot won’t move, it goes past me. Ah, Engine is on the line with his stick down, get out of jail free. It bounces over Ali’s stick. Three-four to Bourne Deeping. Ah, &£$%!

It had to be said, South did play some great hockey today building on a really good season so far.

A number of lemon-worthy events this week: green cards for Ollie and Dom N, Matt K for the spectacular goal, and Pash for getting stuck in the netting retrieving the ball.


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