Why Am I Writing This?

Matt Allsopp

Wait! How did I get here? Why am I chasing this man? Hang on, he’s chasing me. What’s this by my feet? Why are people shouting? So many words that didn’t stick. Stick! Hit the ball, you’re playing hockey. We’re moving the ball well today, the forwards are moving well as well. Well well well, a penalty corner. First one was poor. Better slap the ball this time. Mann hits the ball to the Menzies. The net shivers. Goal.

What’s this on my arm? ‘Vice vice vice vice’; what does that mean?

An early start today, weather was sharp and clean. Soon the sky was slicked grey and a sapping drizzle infused the air. ‘From the start,’ like a mantra in my head. But what? Menzies gives the ball away. Was that what we should be doing from the start? That doesn’t seem right. It all feels slow and disjointed. Peterborough get a penalty corner: goal. I hear someone say, ‘It’s nil-nil now.’ I see now we can start.

Very cold, glad to be in the shower. We seem happy, did we win? Who scored?

The one at left back looks slick, don’t think I’ve seen him before. Hope he can play more often, just what we need. I ask his name, he’s called Nick. Barney looks good as well, he’s conducting the game from the back. Penalty corner. Goal. The board says 4-1 to us. A whistle is blown, everyone walks off to the dug out. Dug? Douglas. No nonsense from him today.

Great work from the new lad, Jimmy. Jimmy the Shimmy. The opposition can’t get near him. He sends the ball across the pitch and a quick take and slap sends the ball home. What’s the score now…? Seriously, what is it? Good counter from Peterborough. Fast, robust. They’ve got to score but the ball is stopped on the line. Penalty stroke. Now it’s a goal.

Kenzies is like a dynamo. No, he’s not, he’s more like an octopus falling down a flight of electric stairs. Whatever, he’s a flailing danger. Doesn’t score. Jon Pawson does though, no idea how. It happened. Tom Steed took a bit of man-handling. Wasn’t phased, got on with it and his pace upset the defence.

Confusion with teamsheets. I take no notice, not my job.

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Nick Boddy
Player of the Match

Slick!

Matt Allsopp
Lemon of the Match

Proving that Coops doesn't have a monopoly on administrative incompetence, NBM forgot the team sheet!