How to Describe the Annual Derby Between M5s and M4s?

Jason 'JJ' James

Match Day: the Perpetration:

CSHC in recent days, weeks and years has seen the club grow and go from strength to strength, with the opening of this year/season being no different. The influx of players meant lots of new bodies just aching to prove themselves, seeking an opportunity to get a bite of the cherry in the impending season.

To aid in selection for the M4s and M5s, in an unprecedented “history in the making” event dual trials days were arranged, yielding players ranging as high as Men’s 2s right the way down to the Men’s 5s.

The attendance was so great that the organisers were able to forge three random teams, who battled out proceedings in 3 x 25 minute period.

The end result was glorious with everyone enjoying a solid day out on the park meeting new club members and socialising with regular members, despite some saying it was the first run they had had in months – better than not running at all and welcome back, lads”.

Match Day

With rumours of the trials trickling through the club the widely-anticipated match day drew crowds from far and wide - Well not really, perhaps just the club’s die-hard hockey lovers and their better halves - contributing towards growing nerves and excitement.

“Spoilt for choice” would be an understatement when trying to describe the sheer numbers of players seeking entry into the event. So much so that, if memory serves correctly, Shahzad and Howard had eight reserves on tap even after pawning off two of their players to the M4s. To further emphasise the situation, onward and upward players whom managed to wiggle their way into the original team drafts were kindly asked to step aside making space for others. Cheers, guys - we apologise for kicking you and appreciate your understanding.

Lights, Camera Action

Cambridge…we have lift off. Feeling like a maturing weed among the newly-harvested daisies in the M4s, things got off to a nervous start with the M5s taking an early lead, lamenting that which we already knew: “You want a battle, then it’s a battle you will have,” (an extract from the mind of the M4s’ skipper at the very moment the M5s took the lead.) “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!!!!!” …… (enter long spell of daydreaming, reliving that sobering moment………) Mmm, I’ve lost my chain of thought now pondering over this and not really sure where to go from here …

Oh well, let’s try anyway. The battle continued, the ending of both the first and second half leaving players exhausted, questioning their sanity, wondering if perhaps, “Am I getting to old for this $%^&?” Never the less, after reminiscing over pizza, beer and the traditional votes selecting Mom and Lemon for each of the teams, everyone calmed to a slow panic readying themselves to take on the next impending games.

The Result

It doesn’t matter who won or who lost, the point is everyone had fun, nothing more nothing less.

Closing remarks

A big thank you to: the umpires on the day; the event organisers; everyone who participated; and to our loyal spectators. And finally, the M5s wrote a well-balanced report too.

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James Bailey
Player of the Match

Clearly a ringer JJ found; higher teams will certainly have their eyes on him

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Jason 'JJ' James
Lemon of the Match

Many reasons but mostly the plank thing