2 - 1

Man of the match

Ash Artaman

Loves a flat-stick tackle (not a flat, stick tackle). Punctuated our rearguard effort

Lemon of the match

Jack Chalk

On a day without many stand-out candidates, Jack paid the price for a smart save of his flick by the away side's keeper

A Typical Day in the M2s

Jack Chalk

This is the day it all clicked. Not the result, which was hard fought, but the Cambridge South 2s’ creaking into that comfortable fourth position in the league, like a pair of your favourite slippers. The most typical M2s’ game quite possibly ever.

Late push back, better put this to bed early doors. Get a short. Ash flicks it into the bottom corner: one-nil. Job done, can we go home? Wait, there are sixty-nine more minutes to play? Oh well.

Kettering do some attacking, we do some defending. We do some attacking, they do some defending. I am sure that you have read something similar before: just re-read that. How many people actually read these anyway? Half-time.

Paul talks about the triple F. He even remembers what two of the Fs stand for (First, Forward, Feast?) Coops gives the speech: keep the ball, go forward, try to score, try not to concede. Jack is not listening…

Early doors in the second half, another short to South and a near-identical flick. Can we go yet, it’s really hot and very windy and we already had one goal? Lots of feet involved, p-flick given.

Coops to Jack, ‘You got this?’ ‘Yes, just like you said at half time - “Try not to score.”’ Coops gives a quizzical smile. A simple matter of just passing to the goalie. Oh no, it’s slightly off the ground and not quite straight to his feet… Don’t worry, he adjusted, diving to get his glove on it.

Sixteen straight to centre forward, clumsy tackle, short corner, goal. Ah, now we are not winning. Should probably try and do something about this.

South have to put in some effort now, despite the wind and the heat. The new youngsters, Dave, Alex Catley (by the way, why does your mum and everyone else call you Adam when you are clearly Alex on the website?)* and Oli join the younger old youngsters, Dom and Tom, taking the game to Kettering but it is old codger James Menzies on his return, fresh from his hip op, that drives along the base line beating two/three/some players to pull the ball pack to the penalty spot. Jack has taken up residence as per usual and pushes it under the goalie. Couldn’t he have just done that ten minutes ago…?

Still some time to go to get the regular M2s’ things out the way. Dom has not added a little green plastic triangle to his collection this game. He tries very hard to get one and sulks instead before he is subbed off.

We still need a great chance gone begging. Ah, a quick break. Jack is wide on the half way line, he can’t run into this wind so passes to Oli, bombing it forward. Everyone expects some flair here, one-on-one with the keeper. Will it be a spin, a cheeky lob or an outrageous nutmeg using the stick handle? Wow, he has hit that hard, shame the goalie was in the way.

Right, five to go, how do we safely see out a game? Oh, that’s right, just waste time giving short corners away until the final whistle. This is always a good tactic as it surprises the opposition so they do not really know what to do. Four of these should do and so it does. Game over, time to go get some pizza and listen to Tom mumble through the reading of the post-match votes. Same again next week boys.

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