Tried to convince his entire team to turn up at the wrong time
Match day early morning and WhatsApp starts its ritual ting ting-ing however this time it’s a flurry of messages from Jay Jay as he cracks his eyelids and for no rhyme or reason tries to insight panic and mayhem by declaring a new pushback start time, slowing to a panic and after consulting management aka Jan B it is determined to be as originally stated earlier on in the week… What a space cadet, I mean really!!!!
16 players ready and waiting to wage war… oh wait the M3’s just pillaged one of our best (Seb D such a hockey slut) nevertheless we push on still heavily loaded with tons of talent (hand me downs, JimJim’s, and guest appearance a younger un-sniper’d Tom South).
The opposition rolls in with 5min to go [editors note - did you try and nobble them as well???], South fully loaded and eager, hoping the opposition would be weary from a long journey and possibly down on man power due to the distance. We note only 11 players and no subs! Things are really looking up now and even better the weather, although not so favourable for either side with barely a breeze in the air and possibly the warmest day in weeks, we expect Louth to struggle (as will we) but we have number lots and lots of spare legs itching to have a run.
Louth until today have not conceded a single goal, we know it’s going to be tough, they haven’t just driven 3hrs to get whipped and if defeated they will make ruddy sure it was a well-earned defeat.
Cue Jay Jay’s now customary pre-match monolog “They may take the match result but they will never take our Fun” and on and on and on…. FFW whistle goes, everyone is playing hockey, subs are flowing which is diligently coordinated by our stand-in Couch/Team Manager AKA “I’m hit, I’m hit” Dr Paul South (stellar job Sir, thank you).
First half ends with South taking the lead, everyone agrees on one thing - for sure “OMG its “£$%^& hot”, lots of chatter with positive reassurance form one another the brotherhood is back in business ….let’s do this thing.
Second half and Louth pull things back by scoring a goal, well £$%^ this wasn’t in the script - no biggy let’s get on with things, both teams straining in the heat both teams want to win, none more so than South. I mean come on everything was stacked in our favour right? Frustrations set in as fouls and whistle blows not always going as expected or hoped, credit to the umpires the intensity was high and keeping things fair and flowing would have been a real challenge, even seasoned ones.
Its starts to rain green cards, and short corners and eyes almost getting poked out and ***BOOM*** Louth score a second, a ping goes out reminding South players that winning although beneficial is not our primary reason for playing hockey… we play for one another and we play for Fun.
The match ends we lose they win blah blah blah fish paste. Let’s eat pizza and drink beer.
Every single player from South M4s did more than their part, from the forwards Jimmy, Tom & Oli to the midfield John, James H, George W & Simon K to our defensive kings Pete, Jan, Dave, Andi C and MSG. But the one fella stood out on the day - new guy and MoM Oli Scott, unanimously voted such by literally every member of the squad. Everyone agrees he was a master, with huge work rate in the middle, solid tackling, magician like breaks, a real thorn on the oppositions side. Well Done Oli!
Captain's Log (supplemental): Despite conceding to Louth today we had fun, probably the best bunch of losers I ever had the privilege of playing hockey with, nothing is more rewarding than having team mates who commit their time and efforts irrespective of an outcome past, present and future, it speaks volumes in terms of their character.