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Man of the match

124
Matt Saint-Gower

Casually picking balls out of the top corner as if they were apples from a tree

Lemon of the match

51
Jason James

Where to start? The crotchless shorts, the luminous yellow new shoes that were too tight and gave him back ache, the meet time several hours too early?

Boarding Pass, Visas and Passports, and a Crate of Beers

Jason James

Crack of dawn car park meet blurry eyes still caked in sleep spirits high with nervous tensions. Horncastle here we come!

5hr round trip to play 70min of hockey anyone dippy enough to do that clearly loves the game of hockey and has undying loyalty to both club and team… greatly appreciated guys thank you.

Special mention, Despites Owen’s medical condition the brave boy limped all the way there and managed nearly 70min of hockey, seriously what a soldier, the team really appreciate it buddy.

Breakfast stop over, location nominated by Mr Barton, personally I love nothing more than a diet double cheese burger fries and a coke for breakfast other guys not so much, delightfully described as a grease bowl for troglodytes with no organic vegan water on tap.

Too soften the situation and aid in the digestion of their food JJ with his honest humorous nature thought it a good idea to tell and show everyone how destroyed his shorts were, needless to say the crotch area left nothing covered and everything exposed which resulted in a solid lemon vote.

FWD pitch side

Regular proceedings unfold, Warmup, team talk, captains toss, push back and we are all systems go.

Hit miss pass tackle whistle repeat repeat repeat first half second half the results 1-0 to Cambridge.

What a relief, to travel all the way to the other side of the planet only to draw or lose, oh my days how I cringe to think the drive home would be like.Crack of dawn car park meet, blurry eyes still caked in sleep, spirits high with nervous tensions. Horncastle here we come!

Five hour round trip to play seventy minutes of hockey…anyone dippy enough to do that clearly loves the game of hockey and has undying loyalty to both club and team… Greatly appreciated, guy. Thank you.

Special mention - despites Owen’s medical condition the brave boy limped all the way there and managed nearly seventy minutes of hockey. Seriously, what a soldier. The team really appreciate it, buddy.

Breakfast stop over, location nominated by Mr Barton. Personally I love nothing more than a diet double cheeseburger, fries and a Coke for breakfast; other guys, not so much. Delightfully described as a grease bowl for troglodytes with no organic vegan water on tap.

Too soften the situation and aid in the digestion of their food, JJ, with his honest humorous nature, thought it a good idea to tell and show everyone how destroyed his shorts were. Needless to say the crotch area left nothing covered and everything exposed, which resulted in a solid Lemon vote.

FWD pitch side

Regular proceedings unfold: warm-up, team talk, captains' toss, push back and we are all systems go.

Hit miss pass tackle whistle repeat repeat repeat first half second half - the result's 1-0 to Cambridge.

What a relief; to travel all the way to the other side of the planet only to draw or lose…oh my days, how I cringe to think what the drive home would have been like.

Horncastle, even though they are bottom of the log, we knew they would put up a solid fight being a home game for them. Hockey being what it is, every match of every week is different, no two games are alike and what it says on paper means nothing. Horncastle battled bravely, they put up a solid fight and to such an extent that our keeper, MSG, made a reactive ninja-like save with his right arm fully extended to block a ball struck at goal worthy of international sports TV broadcast… Abso -£$%^ing- luty brilliant, which secured him the team MoM vote.

Our very own Rock at centre back, AKA Jan Bm also made a stellar save at the post during a short corner routine. The modest man described it as merely doing his job. Well, thanks Jan but to be fair, man it was disgustingly brilliant. The ball literally smashed hard enough to dent the back board was gracefully blocked and dispatched like he was replacing the toilet roll on the holder: just an everyday chore with little or no strain at all, gently denying Horncastle an almost certain goal. Brilliant job, squire.

Now while everyone put in a solid performance and while it would be nice to mention every situation/encounter worthy of such, I can’t. It would make this report far too lengthy*, boring and a pain to write. So, sorry guys but let it be known your efforts are very, very much noted and appreciated, as your skipper and fellow teammate I am very proud to be so. Collectively we played good hockey and we did so having fun.

Special thanks to Rob Barton for joining the squad and to the drivers for making the arduous trip and delivering everyone back home to civilisation.


* Editor's note - We can, I think, find space to describe the only goal! Owen mugged their left back of the ball, drew the last man and slipped it on to Tom. Tom's shot beat the keeper, but hit the far post. Fortunately, Owen was first to the loose ball and flicked past the scrambling defenders and keeper.

Horncastle even though they are bottom of the log we knew they would put up a solid fight being a home game for them. Hockey being what it is every match of every week is different, no two games are alike and what it says on paper means nothing, Horncastle battled bravely, they put up a solid fight and to such an extent that our keeper MSG made a reactive ninja like save with his right arm fully extended to block a ball struck at goals worthy of international sports TV broadcast… Abso -£$%^ing- luty brilliant which secured him the team MOM vote.

Our very Own rock at CB AKA Jan B also made Stella save at the post during a short corner routine, the modest man described it as merely doing his job, well thanks Jan but to be fair man it was disgustingly brilliant, the ball literally smashed hard enough to dent the back board was gracefully blocked and dispatched like he was replacing the toilet roll on the holder just an everyday chore with little or no strain at all gently denying Horncastle an almost certain goal, Brilliant job squire.

Now while everyone put in a solid performance and while It would be nice to mention every situation/encounter worthy of such I can’t, it would make this report far too lengthy*, boring and a pain to write, so sorry guys but let it be known your efforts are very very much noted and appreciated, as your skipper and fellow team mate I am very proud to be so, collectively we played good hockey and we did so having fun.

Special thanks to Rob Barton for joining the squad and to the drivers for making the arduous trip and delivering everyone back home to civilisation


* Editor's note - We can, I think, find space to describe the only goal! Owen mugged their Left-Back of the ball, drew the last man and slipped it on to Tom. Tom's shot beat the 'keeper, but hit the far post. Fortunately Owen was first to the loose ball, and flicked past the scrambling defenders and 'keeper.


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