November 24th 2018 – A Day in the Life

Owen Russell

19:30 – I’m calm, I’m good, I’m at peace. I’ve had a couple of London Prides, backed up by an Erdinger. Life’s good. No thinking about the day just past.

13:12 – James shouts “Owen! Get up you lazy b@stard, get on the pitch.” I leap; shouldn’t have been on the floor, it was a quick two minutes. Harsh - but he is Neymar, and I was only complimenting the ump.

05:50 - Early start. YES!!……Hockey day, so keen, as mustard!! Going to be tough; City at home, big club, home advantage. It’s in Cambs, that’s a home game, for both teams? Was JJ sending drunk texts last night? Was I? Can’t send drunk texts if you don’t drink; irrelevant; we now have fourteen players and man that has played in goal before! & NBM – who’s that?

13:13 – Last minute of the game, red socks squeeze into the purple D, ping a shot off, the Moncks/Monks big left flipper gets in the way, screams into the top left… Oooo that’s that goal… Bugger. Undeserved.

20:00 – Second Erdinger down. Need to book that trip to Cologne (or is it Klön?). I miss Dietmar, Benny and Daniel-san. Feeling fuzzy now, how was the hockey – lots of goals scored, but I am not happy. Hang on - was that in my game? I was on the pitch though, confusing. Must ask Matty about the wee wee peeoples

13:10 - K nicks it again. How does he do that? Cracking to have him back, it’s good. James charges down a pass again, and again!! M.o.M. in the making that lad. And again!!! Don’t tell Kerny about it. Shhh

12:00 – Game kicks off. Where’s Big Dave and Big Dave’s feet? Can’t be important, won’t be important.

15:40 – Calmer now; have witnessed the L2s smash in nine, which I am sure they will let you know about. On reflection, maybe I didn’t need to point out, the ump had given a hit our way - who’d ump anyway, can’t play a game without them. But it is frustrating, sometimes.

13:15 – Gutted…? We didn’t deserve that. But they scored one, we scored two…Hhang on…really? Which end? Jelley wasn’t playing was he?

10:00 – Sri Lanka are 173-1, well on top. TalkSport2 is a poor substitute for TMS – doesn’t cut it. Plus, fewer pigeons in Colombo. Ah…Blowers…

12:10 – Big Dave turns up; two mins later so do his feet.

12:55 – Ooooohhh, John Gourd hits the post, falls to Big South (Big Height South, not Big Weight South), slams it across, just misses the back post. Anguish all round.

15:40 – Half time 9-0 …ouch. That was unexpected, or was it? Ten wins from ten.

11:15 – “Which is pitch three?” “That’ll be the one with the massive number three on it…” Those City boys are sharp. #pitchenvy #hockeyshopenvy #notpregamechangingroomenvy

13:40 - Rub of the green, roll of the dice, 50-50s, bounce of the ball. Could have gone either way…we’ll have ‘em at LR

12:25 – We’ve done really well. They’re more ‘experienced’ but K is a machine in the middle. He’s running again… Hope he knows where he is going, I don’t.

20:30 – Brother sends a joke over WhatsApp. It’s not mathematically correct therefore have to point it out. Can’t trust him – he did geography.

12:20 – Oh Nelson, that is sublime. Triple save from nowhere. Direct hit: bosch, then whilst on the floor: bosch, then scrabbling up and beating away: triple bosch, German Engineering standards. Did it cross the line? The umps say not… eyebrows raised.

14:50 – Livid; have allowed myself to relive the game in my head. Never a good thing.

12:23 - Ball flies into the the South D…cleared. Unbelievably NBM (the man dropped two teams in one week – impressive) offers that it hit his foot. What???? Short to the big red club. Bang 1-0.

10:55 – from 173-1 to 230 all out. Calypso massive-o, are they Eng circa 1990s in disguise?

12:25 – Big Dave and his feet (more of them later) make it up to the top of the pitch for a South short. (correctly given – can I say, “Finally”? Actually no; “Green card says so?) – BAANG. Roofed it. Ahhhh, but was deflected. We’re good; HT 1-1. Keep it the same, we’re playing well and the game is ours for the taking.

13:10 – I point out that the umpire has made a good and accurate call; he takes exception. It’s not my birthday and a bit early for Christmas – no need for a card, but thanks. Rub of green, remember…… home for someone. We’ll have ‘em at LR.

21:34 – Time for bed I think.

15:21 – JJ: “I can’t fault anyone, honestly, great day out on the park with my mates!

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James Hayes
Player of the Match

Sheer determination and dogged play

Owen Russell
Lemon of the Match

Congratulating the umpire on a well-spotted fault…